110 Best The Office (US) Quotes About Work

Office Quotes (U.S.)

I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to just tune myself out… – Kelly Kapoor

If you skip the intro of the office, you are what’s wrong with this world. – The office quotes

I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose… And a panther. – Dwight Schrute

I am running away from my responsibilities and it feels good. – Michael Scott

Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will. – Dwight Schrute

Should have burned this place down when I had the chance. – Michael Scott

Here it is, the heart of New York City, Times Square… named for the good times you have when you’re in it. – Michael Scott

One day Michael came in and complained about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then. – Jim Halpert

Would I rather be feared or loved? easy. both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. – Michael Scott

Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, ‘would an idiot do that?’ and if they would, I do not do that thing. – Dwight Schrute

I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl. So I’m wise and I have worms. – Michael Scott

Mini cupcakes? As in the mini version of regular cupcakes? Which is already a mini version of cake? Honestly, where does it end with you people? – Kevin Malone

Growing up I performed my own circumcision. – Dwight Schrute

You can’t cancel a holiday. – Stanley Hudson

Do the things you like to be happier, stronger & more successful. Only so is hard work replaced by dedication. – Rossana Condoleo

I used to work at the unemployment office. I hated it because when they fired me, I had to show up to work anyway. – Wally Wang

And I knew exactly what to do. but in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do. – Michael Scott

Right. Yes, but what you didn’t realize at the time was that I was with you, in a sense, I was in your heart… – Michael Scott

Very often, a change of self is needed more than a change of scene. – A.C. Benson

This struggle and scramble for office, for a way to live without work, will finally test the strength of our institutions. – Abraham Lincoln

I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. that’s all I’ve ever wanted. – Kevin Malone

Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, ‘Would an idiot do that?’ and if they would, I do not do that thing. – Dwight Schrute

I think one of her cats did once. She came in with scratches all over her face. – Pam Beesly

I don’t have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves, I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor’s dog. – Dwight Schrute

I declare bankruptcy! – Michael Scott

It takes an advanced sense of humor. I don’t expect everybody to understand. – Michael Scott

Talent means nothing, while experience, acquired in humility and with hard work, means everything. – Patrick Suskind

Talent means nothing, while experience, acquired in humility and with hard work, means everything. – Patrick Suskind

Why be a dad when you can be a fun uncle? I’ve never heard of anyone rebelling against their fun uncle. – Michael Scott

I want to be married and have one hundred kids so I can have one hundred friends and no one can say no to being my friend. – Michael Scott

You tried this out, and it’s clearly not for you. It’s time to go. Come on. Please? Thank you. – Angela

Yeah, I have a lot of questions. number one—how dare you? – Kelly Kapoor

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. – Ogden Nash

There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point? – Pam Halpert

The doctor said, if I can’t find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I’m going to die. I’m going to die. – Stanley Hudson

This is a documentary? Oh. I always thought we were like specimens in a human zoo. – Kevin Malone

Work is the greatest thing in the world. So we should always save some of it for tomorrow. – Don Herold

If I had nine hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend the first six sharpening my ax. – Abraham Lincoln

I wish I could menstruate… I’d be more in tune with the moon and the tides. – Dwight Schrute

I truly believe the wireless mouse was invented so people at work had one less thing to hang themselves with. – Mike Vanatta

The weak always bully the strong, contrary to what you see in the media. – Dwight K. Schrute

I never smile if I can help it. Showing one’s teeth is a submission signal in primates. When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life. – Dwight K. Schrute

The rules of shotgun are very simple and very clear. First-person to shout ‘shotgun’ when you’re within sight of the car gets the front seat. That’s how the game is played. There are no exceptions for someone with a concussion. – Michael Scott

You don’t call retarded people ‘retards’. It’s bad taste. You call your friends ‘retards’ when they’re acting retarded. – Michael Scott

Why does society force us to use urinals when sitting down is far more comfortable? – Michael Scott

Once, as a joke, Packer banged every chick in the office… it was hysterical. – Michael Scott

Pizza: the great equalizer. Rich people love pizza, poor people love pizza, white people love pizza, black people love pizza… do black people like pizza? – Michael Scott

New York, New York: the city so nice they named it twice. Manhattan is the other name. – Michael Scott

I miss the feeling of knowing that you did a good job because somebody gives you a proof of it. – Michael Scott

I love inside jokes… love to be a part of one someday. – Michael Scott